TOPS report 6/23

Lost 4.5lbs. this week!

Starting weight: 394
Highest weight: 403.5
Last week: 403.5
This week: 399
Net total: +5

Still at a net gain, but going in the right direction

I know that may sound like too much to lose in one week for someone who hasn't had weight loss surgery, but I've been told by several doctors that it's much more unhealthy for me to be at the weight I am than to lose "too much" in a week. So for now, I'm going to take what I can get and not worry about it being too much.

Yay me!

My ticker

Not my heart, but the weight-loss ticker above. Yeah, about the current reading...

My husband and I recently joined TOPS together, not only as a way to get some support from like-minded folks, but to give ourselves some weekly accountability to people who might be a little more objective than family and friends.

The last time I'd weighed myself at the gym, I was 406. The first time I was weighed at TOPS (which was only a few weeks later), I was 394. I was surprised that I'd supposedly lost 12 pounds in a few weeks without doing anything differently, and thought maybe something was wrong with the scale*.

I received more ammo for those thoughts at my second weigh-in, two weeks later (we skipped a week because my plane was delayed and got in too late to make it to what should have been our second meeting). I'd gone from weighing in at 394 at the first meeting to 403.5 two weeks later.

Despite the fact that I think the scale was off the first week*, and I probably really did weigh 406, giving me a 2.5lb. loss (as opposed to a 9.5lb. gain), I'm leaving my starting weight as 394, so my numbers here will match my TOPS numbers.

So yeah, it might look like I've gained 9.5 pounds, but I really don't think I did, and in the end it won't matter anyway. If I get to my goal weight, I will have lost over 200 pounds - it really won't make a difference if it's 221 or 231.

*Our TOPS group uses a standard balance beam scale (with the slide weights), and the way they get around the fact that it only goes up to 350 is to attach a clamp to the beam, which adds 121 pounds to the final result. I'm wondering if our weigher clamped it in the wrong spot that first week, resulting in the 10lb. difference. I just can't wait until I no longer need the clamp, so I know it's accurate.

What a difference a little perspective makes

The black bean soup at Panera tasted better today than the last time I had it. I doubt it actually tasted any different, but the last time I had it, I'd been wanting the broccoli cheese soup and got the black bean in an effort to be healthier - compared to the broccoli cheese, it was almost like it was a disappointment or some sort of punishment for being fat. This time, I walked in the door knowing I was ordering the black bean, and it was scrumptious.

Viva perspective!

Panera, Take II

This afternoon's jaunt to Panera saw fewer calories and fat grams.

Sesame bagel with reduced fat cream cheese and vegetarian black bean soup, for a total of 590 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of fiber and 25 grams of protein.

Much better.

I've included fiber and protein because so far, I've found a good combination of those two figures to be a Holy Grail of sorts for me. After a Slim Fast shake* in the car on the way to work, if I have a V8 and a vending machine bag of garden salsa Sun Chips at first break (285 calories, 9 grams fat, 6 grams fiber, 6 grams protein), that sets me up to last until lunch without wanting to eat the whole cafeteria.

*shut up, I haven't been consuming the SF kool-aid. I'm just not a morning person and thus have no time to eat something at home, and it's surprisingly nutrient-rich for the calorie count - though sometimes I wonder if I might be better off guzzling down 12oz of skim milk and a multivitamin on my way out the door - it's more protein and would pack a bigger nutrient punch, but no fiber. But, I digress. I'm still figuring things out.

Betrayal

If you were a Giant Fat Lady trying to become a not-Giant, less-Fat Lady, and you went to out for lunch, which would you think would be better for you: a Caprese salad and a fruit smoothie, or a bagel with cream cheese and creamy, cheesy soup?

GFL would like to remind everyone that just because a dish looks or sounds healthy, that doesn't mean it actually is.

This post brought to you by Panera Bread, where a regular Tomato-Mozzarella Salad and a 16oz. Mango Smoothie come out to 1160 calories and 52 grams of fat (25 of which are nasty saturated fat). Which, if one happens to be trying to become a non-G, less-F L, is not too far away from an entire day's worth of fat and calories (not to mention twice the amount of saturated fat).

GFL imagines she saved herself a few calories and a few grams of fat by not eating all of the focaccia that comes with the salad, but still... it absolutely blows her mind that she could have saved about 400 calories and 13 grams of fat by having the bagel and soup.

A salad with a load of fresh tomatoes and a fruit smoothie vs a bagel and cream soup... who knew? GFL should have, considering she's sure the mozz was way too rich to have been made part-skim.

It's nice to enjoy a leisurely lunch with your loving husband at a lovely little cafe, but at least at home, you KNOW what's in your food. Since Mr. GFL has discovered a new love for Panera he's never known for any chain anywhere, GFL thinks she needs to peruse the menu for a more healthful option.

Open letter to Sandra in 3C

Dear Sandra,

You? Are a bitch. I normally wouldn't call someone with whom I've never exchanged more than 30 seconds of conversation a bitch, but I feel that it's justified in this case. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge you your right to feel uncomfortable sitting next to me, despite the fact that you sat perfectly normally in your seat for the entire flight and didn't come close to touching me even once. I understand completely. You're probably not exposed to someone of my generous BMI on a regular basis, and I'm cool with that. But if you were indeed not a bitch, you would not have felt the need to text one of your probably similarly bitchy friends about the "giant fat lady" sitting next to you no more than a minute after she sat down.

Please allow the Giant Fat Lady to offer you some words of wisdom.

If you are going to be the kind of bitch that does such a thing as complaining about someone you've never met within a minute of laying eyes on them, you may want to make sure you don't do it in full view of the person you're complaining about.

Oh, and if the Giant Fat Lady calls you on your bitchiness, don't play coy, like you have no idea what she's talking about... because then you've just sealed your fate not just as a bitch, but a stupid bitch at that.

By the way, one of the reasons this Giant Fat Lady flies Midwest Airlines is so her blubber doesn't fall on to your side of the armrest. My blubber was very well contained within my skin, my clothing, and my side of the armrest, thankyouverymuch.

Oh, and seriously? I know you were probably just exaggerating, but if sitting next to a Giant Fat Lady for a 1.75-hour flight is seriously your worst nightmare, chances are you're not only a bitch, not only a stupid bitch, but you, Sandra, are a miserable, stupid, no-imagination-having cunty bitch who has no friends and loves nobody but yourself, and this Giant Fat Lady has a better life than you will ever allow yourself the pleasure of knowing. I mean, seriously... parents dying in a freak accident, significant other walking out on you (maybe even for a GFL such as myself), children getting stabbed in the hallway of their school, nuclear holocaust?? All much worse nightmares than sitting next to a GFL for two hours in first class-size leather seats on an airplane.

After getting off our flight, this Giant Fat Lady met up with her uxorious husband (no no, you can look it up... I'll wait), who whisked her off to a wonderful dinner, then home to make mad, passionate love to celebrate her homecoming. You were on a business trip, and my guess is that you cried yourself to sleep in your hotel room, wondering why nobody loves you.

And due to your incredible self-absorption, I doubt you'll ever come to realize the answer, even if it slapped you in the face.

In which she finds out she's a Giant Fat Lady... as if this was news

Scene: Midwest Airlines Boeing 717, Monday, 6.9.08.

Giant Fat Lady (GFL) boards plane, gets to her row and says to woman sitting in aisle seat 3C: "Excuse me, I've got your window seat."

GFL puts her carryon in the overhead compartment and sits in her seat. 3C sits back down, pulls out her Blackberry, and starts entering the following message (in full view of GFL, who of course could read every word, due to the angle of the phone):

My worst nightmare has just come true. I'm sitting next to a giant fat lady. Her blubber is falling over on to my side of the arm rest. HELP!

GFL leans over to 3C and says "you know, you're not so fabulous yourself."

3C looks up in astonishment and says "what are you talking about?"

GFL rolls her eyes and says "I could see every word of the text you just sent."

They spend the rest of the flight in complete silence.