In which she finds out she's a Giant Fat Lady... as if this was news

Scene: Midwest Airlines Boeing 717, Monday, 6.9.08.

Giant Fat Lady (GFL) boards plane, gets to her row and says to woman sitting in aisle seat 3C: "Excuse me, I've got your window seat."

GFL puts her carryon in the overhead compartment and sits in her seat. 3C sits back down, pulls out her Blackberry, and starts entering the following message (in full view of GFL, who of course could read every word, due to the angle of the phone):

My worst nightmare has just come true. I'm sitting next to a giant fat lady. Her blubber is falling over on to my side of the arm rest. HELP!

GFL leans over to 3C and says "you know, you're not so fabulous yourself."

3C looks up in astonishment and says "what are you talking about?"

GFL rolls her eyes and says "I could see every word of the text you just sent."

They spend the rest of the flight in complete silence.